Captain Obvious takes a break

Greetings to all, Major Irony here in place for Captain Obvious who is taking a rest at the moment. He had a hard time with his last report and ran around screaming something about his water not having enough water in it. He accepted the kind offer by the nice gentlemen for an all expense paid vacation. They tell me he likes his padded room but feels that the straight jacket chafes a little. Sergeant Sarcasm and I expect to see him back at his post sometime before the end of the year (hopefully).

But now, on with today’s report. After the last week of frigid temperatures across most of the eastern U.S. we seem to have hit a slight warming trend. With temperatures climbing I thought people might be in the mood to see a bit of weather irony. Although it was very tempting to take this particular right turn, especially last week, to see if somehow the border of this town could magically repel cold weather and live up to its name, alas, I did not. It was a pleasant fiction though, one that warmed my thoughts if nothing else to believe that there may be this amazing warm place of summer that existed even in the midst of the coldest winter.

Until next time, wishing you warm weather and lots of irony.

M. I.

Captain Obvious does lunch

Captain Obvious, at your service once again. Today I report on a mystery that has confounded me for well over 15 minutes.

It all started after my last mission.

I was quite hungry and my rations had been depleted by the earthworm incident, which is one tale that is too horrifying to tell. I had entered a fast food establishment, which was not living up to the name since it took ten minutes for me to receive my food.

While I waited impatiently, I took my colorful cup to the drink dispenser. Having sworn off soft drinks, because they make my tummy hurt, I perused the choices for something without enough sugar to send me into immediate shock. I was pleasantly surprised to find water as one of the choices. I reached for the button when I noticed there was a secondary choice underneath water which said, ‘water only’. This gave me immediate pause. Was the other water free of dangerous water that I nearly consumed in my ignorance? Does the ‘water only’ have all the essential nutrients of the regular water? Would it be missing some key ingredient of the main water choice?

As I pondered this important decision, people began lining up behind me, waiting for their drinks.

What do I do? Do I raise the alarm and warn these people about the potential choice between these competing waters? Obviously, one water company was better funded as they had the edge on advertising with the larger logo. But did that mean that the less popular choice was the right one? What if there was some cut-rate system they used to make their water cheaper and couldn’t afford advertising like the bigger company?

In the midst of my turmoil, my order number was called.

Sweat rolled down my cheek as I sold out and pressed my cup against the lever sending water streaming into my cup. As I walked away, I could hear the angry sighs of the people behind me. Were they disappointed in my choice? Did they lose a little confidence in their captain knowing that he had chose the big water company instead of helping out the little guy?

I picked up my bag of deep fried food and headed back out into the world to right some injustice, but all the while, I kept a wary eye on my water.

C. O.

 

 

Captain Obvious takes a holiday

The adventures of Captain Obvious

Captain Obvious takes a holiday

 

Captain Obvious was injured in a horrible marshmallow accident and will be out of commission for a while. In his absence, I’ll be stepping in. Who am I? I’m Major Irony. And today’s pic is full of that.

Back in 2011, I was taking pictures of flooding for a local newspaper when I ran across this little gem. I just couldn’t help myself, I had to snap the picture. Last week when I was digging through my pictures looking for that eclipse shot, I stumbled across this one and knew I had to pull it out of mothballs for the world to see.

Enjoy the picture and the irony it shows.

M. I.